brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Randomize
