Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
