This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
