I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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