yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize