some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
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well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
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you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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