hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
what day is it and did you see me today?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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