at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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