She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
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Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
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It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...