If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success