I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.