you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I would ride that face into the sunset