Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb. http://tfl.nu/h3os
  Replies (4) Good night (4000) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up http://tfl.nu/dh1d
  Replies (30) Good night (5373) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message. http://tfl.nu/jwe9
  Replies (19) Good night (9596) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car. http://tfl.nu/9e5w
  Replies (18) Good night (4481) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over. http://tfl.nu/t1vw
  Replies (9) Good night (695) Bad night (5638)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears http://tfl.nu/xih7
  Replies (19) Good night (5013) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester. http://tfl.nu/ljr5
  Replies (10) Good night (3235) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer. http://tfl.nu/dnae
  Replies (7) Good night (2699) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize http://tfl.nu/o5b5
  Replies (4) Good night (1877) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness. http://tfl.nu/h6eg
  Replies (5) Good night (454) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped. http://tfl.nu/kn7w
  Replies (5) Good night (1333) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE http://tfl.nu/8spd
  Replies (17) Good night (931) Bad night (1908)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen. http://tfl.nu/o1qk
  Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children.. http://tfl.nu/lakp
  Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  May the force be with you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died. (309): May the force be with you. http://tfl.nu/776r
  Replies (4) Good night (1060) Bad night (316)

Randomize