i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
