we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize