it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
