I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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