Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
