She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize