Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
