Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
