Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
