Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
