Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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