I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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