He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize