Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
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I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
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Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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