stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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