i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
