She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
