i think my tv is drunk
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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