we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
