everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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