I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
