My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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