I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My cat gives me a boner
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
