We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize