i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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