And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
