If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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