She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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