My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize