I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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