Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i now understand why vodka
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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