Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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