she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
