its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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