I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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