She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
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