didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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