A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
