it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
