i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
