i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize