I bet he comes in French.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well I just put wine in my tea
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
