I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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