Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I can't turn off my feet"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
