took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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