Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
