marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Your dad touched me again.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Two words: blizzard sex
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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