We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize