She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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