I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
