Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
