The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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