he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
