Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
