two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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