Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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