So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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